With my extensive relationship history, one would be inclined to think that I have somehow earned my stripes in the romance department. Possibly. But that’s not to say that I have mastered the art of not shedding copious tears each time a relationship crumbles to a heap of broken dreams on the ground. I still cry. And the most unbelievable amount of tears I cried for he-who-must-not-be-named and our so-called non-relationship, not too long ago. A non-relationship because he was invoved with someone else and I, well, I was the side dish to her entree. Though filled with the most intense love and passion, it was, clearly, a Bad Romance and it didn’t take long before I found myself making an unscheduled trip to Rock Bottom.
But I guess you could say i’m one of the lucky ones because right in the middle of the unfortunate three-way I have knowingly thrown myself into, Romance (with a capital R) has tiptoed into my world once more and is standing quietly in the corner with the umbrella stand, as of writing. And said Romance, though multi-cultural and, for now, long distance, has given me back my self-worth.
And you know, the good thing about an all-exclusive romance, is that I had forgotten what a good thing it was. I mean, dude, the happy feelings? They’re very good happy feelings. This is, perhaps, more addictive than smoking even. And I highly recommend that more people should do this. Perhaps we can have a Bring Back The Romance Club, where for 500 pesos a month, you get flirty texts, flowers on your birthday and late-night phone calls with a sexy French accent. Sign up now!
But, Romance also has its downsides. Like the simple fact that on rare occasions, I find myself insanely jealous of his Ex-girlfriend when there’s clearly no reason to be. Or how I’m suddenly more analytical of certain conversations, forgetting that he comes from a different cultural background, ergo, it is but natural that we see things differently sometimes. These all seem pretty inconsequential in the general scheme of things, but falling in love and being in a relationship sometimes makes you think and do a lot of crazy things.
All in all, being in a relationship is a good thing. No, scrap that. It is a GREAT thing. It helps chart your priorities in a way that you stop being extremely self-centered and start paying more attention to your partner’s needs and much to your delight, discover that it’s actually more fulfilling. Being in a relationship also keeps you grounded and though there are no guarantees, you still tend to look at your partner in terms of marriage and children, which, in my opinion, is a very healthy exercise of the heart and the imagination.
And so to keep the love roaming around freely in the building – if indeed that is what you wish for yor relationship – here are some romance Do’s and Don’ts that you must follow:
- DON’T ever go to bed mad at your mate. Sleep on the couch if you have to, but make sure the bedroom remains to be a safe, wonderful, and enjoyable place to go to.
- DO pick your fights. Ask yourself if this is something that is going to matter in 5 years. If not, let it go.
- DON’T speak when you are mad, rather, wait until you calm down enough to talk. Take a walk, a long bath, hit the gym, or do yoga to calm down, and always, always, always stick to the subject of discussion. Never ever attack their personal feelings, they have just as much right to them as you do to yours.
- DO put your partner first. A lady can open a door for a man just as easily especially if his hands are full.
- DON’T badger your partner for his or her opinion on everything, especially when they’re too tired or stressed out to even come up with one. It will only start a fight over nothing and neither one of you would want that.
- DO tell your partner often that you love them.
- DON’T allow your relationship to get into a rut. If you find that nothing seems to be as spontaneous as it once was, first talk then think of some action to take.
- DO try to understand what your partner is saying. And if your partner likes a certain type of sport, try to learn what the sport is about and the names of the teams and you never know you might actually like it once you understand it.
- DON’T be afraid to show your love in the way that you take care of yourself, your partner, your children, your home your job. You would be surprised to see how well that works.
And finally, this is the easiest one of all and I think that if more people should follow it, the world would truly be a better place. LAUGH. Yes, just that. Have a good laugh with your partner. Heck, you can even laugh at yourself! Whatever you do, learn to find something amusing out of anything. Laughing is good for you and those around you.