By definition, an Alpha-Female can be a lot of things. She is a quintessential woman who is fearless in the use of, and sometimes, in the exploitation of her feminine wiles in order to get her way or seal a business deal. Some say she is someone who has complete control of her destiny and has zero tolerance for traits that may be perceived at weakness or liability. Others say she is full of contradictions, often keeping her male partner in a suspended state, not sure exactly what to do with her. And still quite a few, especially those who cannot grasp her Alpha-ness, simply dismiss her as a bitch. But if you even know half of what she’s all about, an Alpha-Female is neither Satan’s mistress or a bitch and she doesn’t fall into the category of a saint either – she just loves to win.
They say it is from the ideals of feminism that the Alpha-Females’ roots can be traced. If you are strongly supportive of feminist views and admire smart, talented women who can fearlessly grab the bull by its horns and take a commanding lead, you are one step closer to becoming the alpha female. Appearance is not the only measuring tool, contrary to popular belief, simply because the root of the alpha female is much deeper than that. In fact, you’ll be surprised to see for yourself that the Alpha-Female is NOT always the most beautiful or the one who has the best personality. She stands out because she has created a niche for her kind and suddenly all the other women either want to be like her so badly – or to have a piece of her.
Unlike the Alpha-Male, whom extensive studies have been done on his conduct and behavior, the research on the Alpha-Female is still quite limited in comparison. But that is not to say that there is very little interest shown in this peculiar female specie. On the contary, Alpha-Females are on the rise and in such overwhelming but always very stylish and awe-inspiring fashion.
So you want to be an Alpha-Female? Here’s how you can start:
- Elan is the word you should add to your vocabulary – and personify! Make an effort to look good by making sure your wardrobe not only has varied styles and accessories for every occasion but you also gotta wear them with elegance, flair and style. But it doesn’t mean that you have to blow your money and max out your plastic cards hoarding designer stuff. Remember that you can always look very well put together even on a budget. The key is to know your body and how to dress it up in a such a way that you only highlight your assets and draw attention away from the deal-breakers.
- Be extraordinarily confident, but never in a such a way that you alienate people. Your confidence must be genuine and must come from within. That way, you do not always have to assert your presence on people – they will know just by looking at your glow and radiance that you are a force to be reckoned with.
- Show great leadership by developing a group of genuine friends and never letting that friendship fall apart. You may even appoint a Beta-Female, one who can be your stand-in when you are not physically there to assume your role as Alpha-Female. Now this may have despotic written all over it, but you must understand pack beahavior forms part of the Alpha-Female phenomenon – and you, as the AF, must have a pack to lead.
Those are just the basics and as you go on your journey to becoming an Alpha-Female, you will learn a few more tricks of the trade which you can exploit to dominate and win in varying situations. The important thing to remember as well is that you should be happy with your life and let it manifest by being optimistic about everything and knowing how to keep your cool even in the most exasperating situations.
Now while Alpha-Females are viewed as awesome successes in everything they do, they are unfortunately perceived as something else in committed relationships as a growing number of them are reportedly turning their backs on their equals – the Alpha-Males – and going for the beta versions. Yes, the laid-back and domesticated types who can live with the thought of being in the shadows of the Alpha-Females.
An interesting research done by Catherin Gray for Eve Magazine showed that the alpha female intimidates even the traditional alpha male and her success is a passion killer for him. Supposedly, a man’s chances of marriage goes up with his IQ, but for each 16 point rise in a woman’s IQ, her prospects of getting hitched decline by 40%. Therefore, women are only admitting to half their salaries and dumbing themselves down in a bid to attract men. Because, well, let’s face it, nobody wants to be alone and unloved.
But clearly, this is not the kind of relationship an Alpha-Female who has worked so hard to become the powerful person that she is, deserves. So how can she find the right relationship for her? First, know that the kind of people we attract says a lot about who we are, about the relationship we have with ourselves and it speaks volumes about our beliefs about relationships. By being clear about your core values, purpose and expectations, not only do you attract the type who can live up to them, you also gain some semblance of control over the relationship because you are in your element – your own environment and there is no misrepresentation involved.