Men’s Health: 30 Sex Myths Busted!

Men's Health Philippines May 2010 Cover

Women can’t get pregnant the first time they have sex—myth or fact? Oral sex can get women pregnant—myth or fact? Men want more sex than women—myth or fact? In today’s information-overload age, there’s so much information available that even the most discerning of the human species has difficulty separating fact from friction. You think you know everything there is to know about sex? Don’t be too quick to believe everything you hear or read about it. Truth is, people lie, exaggerate, and talk good game when it comes to sex. And if you’re not careful, you might find yourself eating out of a plate full of the most ridiculous sex myths—and dearly paying for it. So read on and let’s put these sex whoppers to bed once and for all…

  1. Bigger is NOT better. Are you kidding? Don’t believe anyone who says so.  What else would explain the pervasion of miracle growth patches and pills and penile implants? Truth is, we do prefer a bigger penis—aesthetically or fit-wise. But what to do if you’re not supersized and opposed to scientific interventions? Don’t fret as there are many ways to compensate. Maximize the use of your penis by learning some penetration techniques which can involve alternating long/short, slow/fast strokes, sensual rolling of the pelvis, and well as, experimenting with various sexual positions that promote deep and maximum penetration despite lacking an inch or two.
  2. The male appendage is the only way to please a woman.Though the importance of size cannot be emphasized more, you MUST know that penile penetration is not the only way to please us. Female orgasm can also be achieved through inspired oral techniques.
  3. Clitoral orgasm is inferior compared to its vaginal counterpart. Forget what Mr. Freud said about the superiority of vaginal orgasm obtained only through penetrative sex. Clitoral or vaginal, all we care about is our orgasm and you’d better give it to us!
  4. I couldn’t help getting too excited, you were simply scorching! Duuude, don’t put the blame on us. It’s NOT flattering when you ejaculate within seconds of vaginal penetration. That’s called premature ejaculation and you need to keep it in check. Doing your Kegels will help. This exercise tightens the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles of the pelvic floor. It’s the muscle group that cuts off the flow of urine, if you’re not familiar with it. Tighten your PC muscles for 10 seconds and do this 10 times.
  5. Men want more action than women do. Because sex is fuelled by testosterone which men have a lot of, it’s a common belief that men hanker for sex more than women. But, uhrmmm, times have changed. Now that women already know much more about how their bodies work and how to enjoy themselves in bed, they have become as sexually motivated as men.
  6. Women can’t get pregnant the first time they have sex.Women can get pregnant ANYTIME they have unprotected sex.
  7. Or by doing it standing up. Having sex in any position—standing up, kneeling down, upside down, however which way you prefer it—carries with it the risk of pregnancy if protection is not used.
  8. Or by using douche afterwards. Sperm are extremely fast swimmers and hundreds of thousands of them can reach the uterus even before the woman can douche. What’s more, the pressure of the solution squirted into the vagina can even push sperm into the uterus.
  9. Or when stoned and high on something. Unless you are both SO stoned that you end up not having sex at all, getting high is not even considered a method of contraception.
  10. Or by making her sneeze for fifteen minutes after sex.False. Definitely. For all the obvious reasons.
  11. Or when women have their period. Sperm stays alive for several days once inside the vagina—simply put, even if the last time you two had sex was three days ago during her period, she could now be ovulating and facing the risk of pregnancy.
  12. Or by doing it in a hot tub… Truth is, women can get pregnant under any of the circumstances mentioned—unless, of course, she’s already pregnant or sterile. Even condoms or other form of birth control DO NOT guarantee a 100 percent foolproof method of preventing pregnancy. So if you choose to have sex, regardless of when and how, know what you might be getting yourself into and see if you’re ready for it.
  13. Having sexual intercourse before an important event— a sporting event or a critical business presentation – can cause a significant dip in your performance.
    Some Swiss researchers performed stress tests on people 2 and 10 hours after the subjects had had sex, and found that by 10 hours, the subjects were already fully-recovered. There was only a small dip in performance 2 hours after sex.
  14. You can’t get STIs from oral sex. I’m sure you’ve heard of herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea and nonspecific urethritis (NSU), an inflammation of the urethra (the tube where urine comes out) that only affects men—these are STIs that you can get from oral sex.
  15. Women go off sex during and after menopause. NOT TRUE. These days, women above 50 are said to be healthier than their predecessors. And with some help through hormone therapy, they’re no longer plagued with low sex drive and vaginal dryness. Cougar town is certainly open for business.
  16. Oysters spur horniness. Giovanni Casanova, the Venetian adventurer and infamous seducer, believed in the power of oysters, which seems an authoritative, first-hand endorsement. However, there is no scientific evidence to prove oysters increase sex drive.  But then again, any placebo can work if you believe in it.
  17. Oral sex can get you pregnant. Only if your ovaries are somewhere in the same area. Oral sex cannot get a woman pregnant, not even if there’s swallowing involved.
  18. Wetness does NOT equate to how turned on a woman is.Not getting lubricated enough does not necessarily mean we’re not aroused. Monthly cycle, pregnancy, illness, menopause, medications (such as antihistamines and decongestants) can affect our lubrication. So boys, no reason for you to get your boxer briefs all twisted in a bunch. Unless we’re really NOT turned on and in which case, we’ll make sure you’re well-informed.
  19. Sex toys can ruin your ability to achieve orgasm with your partner. Granted that women, in some cases, climax faster with battery-operated gadget, there’s still nothing quite like the real thing.

20.  The best sex is an all-nighter. Not true, says sex therapist Laura Berman, MD. In fact, recent studies say                        that 7 to 13 minutes is the ideal length of intercourse. But hey, if you can swing an all-nighter, we’re not                                 complaining!

21. Pulling out before ejaculation means no babies. So NOT true. While sperm is concentrated in semen                         expelled during ejaculation, sperm can still be present in seminal fluid—the clear, sticky substance released                         continuously from first moments of arousal. Of the millions of sperm present during ejaculation, it only takes                       one to get her pregnant.

22.  ‘Comparing notes’ in a new relationship can lead to better sex. Sexual chemistry between couples is                     different and spending time thinking about old partners can definitely take away a substantial amount of focus                     on the pleasure derived from your current mate.

23.  AIDS is a homosexual disease. Not only is this statement derogatory, it’s also very untrue. Studies show that               the HIV virus is rapidly increasing among heterosexuals than homosexuals.

24.  Intact hymen means she’s a virgin. Not quite, says gynecologist Ranjana Dhanu, MD. “An intact hymen is                   not a definition of virginity at all. This is because with women, doing so much of strenuous physical activity and                 exercise it is normal if your hymen stretches or even breaks during these activities.”

25.  She can’t get pregnant from anal sex. Indeed, because the anus has no connection to the uterus or fallopian               tubes. However, sperm can very easily dribble out and make their way to the vagina, so there is a very real risk                of pregnancy.

26.  Using someone else’s birth control pills before sex can’t get you pregnant. Birth control pills take a                     full MONTH to be at all effective, so one day and one pill won’t help her at all.

27.  ‘Blue Balls’ is just an expression. Blue balls, or painful vasocongestion, is actually a very real condition and                  it occurs during arousal and blood flow increases to the genitals, exerting pressure on the blood vessels and                        surrounding tissue. After orgasm or ejaculation, the blood flow decreases and the pressure is released. But if                       orgasm or ejaculation doesn’t occur, the pressure can cause pain or discomfort.

28.  Two condoms are better than one. False. Wearing one on top of the other only increases friction that may                  cause breakage.

29.  Men are into full-on Frenching at all times. – Not so, says William Cane, author of The Art of Kissing, who                surveyed 50,000 men and found there are 30 different kinds of smooching moves guys love that don’t involve                  jamming their tongues into women’s mouths and vice-versa.

30.  Everyone’s having multiples; it’s not an unusual feat. So NOT true.  Sexologist Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey                  says, “While some women do experience multiple orgasms, it’s rarely all the time. It depends on the technique                    of both you and your partner. The worst thing you can do is get preoccupied with trying so hard – it’ll probably                  result in the opposite effect.” So stop stressing and have fun!


Favorite Items no. 5 and 6: Twistix and Manila Scramble

Manila Scramble

Yes, I am Pinay through and through. Manila Scramble can very well attest to that. Okay, so maybe what we see in the malls everywhere is a far cry from the scramble most of us grew up slurping during recess at school. For those of you who don’t know what scramble is, it’s just shaved ice mixed with food coloring and sugar, topped with milk (skimmed mostly). Manila Scramble took it a notch higher by giving you an array of toppings to choose from – rice crispies, mini marshmallows, and some cereal-looking oddities. Personally, I just like my scramble with lots of milk even though the kind they use probably goes against my health requirements.


Another recent discovery which Noel and I have been eyeing these past few days is Twistix – this little yellow and red food cart at the cinema level of Robinsons Galleria (I reckon there’s about a hundred of them scattered in malls all over the Metro) which sells potato crisps cut up in slinky-type fashion. So after days of telling each other ‘Let’s try that nga after lunch next time, Che!’, Noel and I finally made a stop at Twistix and I got me a small-sized serving.  Also because I was totally unhappy with my Burger King lunch. Yesterday’s lunch was a failure as well. Whatever happened to great lunches, I wonder. Anyway, going back to Twistix. It’s really nothing fancy, except maybe for it’s cutesy spiral shape. You can choose from different flavors – cheese, sour cream, barbecue, tomato catsup. The small serving costs P45.

Twistix-ed and lovin' it!

I only got the small serving but it certainly looks a lot more than my tummy can handle.

Getting Twistix-ed with Noel.

On Going Green.

As consumers, we inevitably contribute to global warming with the electronic gadgets we use at home and our workplace; the car that we drive around or the public transportations that we take to get us from one destination to another; the flights that we take for our business or personal trips; our manic retail therapy and our regular trips to the cinema or other forms of recreation.

The question is, how much are we impacting global warming? One way to find out is by calculating our carbon footprint. A carbon footprint is a measure of the impact our activities have on the environment, and in particular climate change. It relates to the amount of greenhouse gases produced in our day-to-day lives through burning fossil fuels for electricity, heating and transportation etc.

When I took the online carbon footprint test sometime in February this year, this is the result I got:

Your footprint is 8.43 metric tons per year The average footprint for people in Philippines is 0.97 metric tons The worldwide target to combat climate change is 2 metric tons

Your Carbon Footprint:

0.03 metric tons of CO2
3.96 metric tons of CO2
0.00 metric tons of CO2
0.00 metric tons of CO2
0.02 metric tons of CO2
0.00 metric tons of CO2
4.42 metric tons of CO2

Total = 8.43 metric tons of CO2

To offset some or all of your carbon footprint, click the sections you would like to offset in the list above, and click the Offset Now button.

Total To Offset = 8.43 metric tons of CO2

Offset Now
The results of your carbon footprint calculation
  • Your footprint is 8.43 metric tons per year
  • The average footprint for people in Philippines is 0.97 metric tons
  • The average for the industrial nations is about 11 metric tons
  • The average worldwide carbon footprint is about 4 metric tons
  • The worldwide target to combat climate change is 2 metric tons

Although today we live in a technologically-advanced world and everyday discoveries seem endlessly exciting, it’s still the day-to-day actions and the habits you cultivate that matter most especially when it comes to doing Mother Earth good.  By changing your thinking, you are effectively changing your life. Adapting to a greener lifestyle is worth it for all kinds of reasons and you’ll be surprised that it’s not all about the planet. Green habits often save you money and improve your health and life, as well.

That is why from fit and healthy, I have decided I am now going green as well. And looking fabulous while at it.

I cannot build a green house like one of those multi-million solar paneled houses featured on TLC,  but I can certainly help make a difference by adapting to a lifestyle that does very little harm to the environment. I don’t own and drive a car, so that’s several points off my carbon footprint. I do, however, travel a lot and that’s where the bulk of my carbon footprint comes from.

At home, I hardly use airconditioning – unless I have someone over, which happens very rarely. Such is the life of a recluse. *cough, cough* Unless absolutely terrified of ghosts or bad dreams, I sleep with all the lights out. On workdays, I hardly ever watch the telly. Except for CNN or TLC in the morning while I get ready for work and again when I come home from work. And since half the time I’m not in town anyway, my electricity consumption is minimal. Very minimal, in fact, that I sometimes only pay a little over one hundred pesos a month. But no, I am not open to taking in board and lodgers. hahaha. Most of my clothes do not need ironing as they’re made of soft fabrics – just the sort that fabric conditioners can take care of.

That's my old favorite Tesco Green Bag for only RM7. Got it in 2009. I think they have new designs now.

When I do my weekly grocery shopping at the supermarket, I make it a habit to bring my own reusable, environment-friendly bag. Last year in Malaysia, I found this really nice recycled bag from Tesco for only RM7. I was so happy with the design, the size, and the overall usability of the bag that I used it not just for grocery shopping but for also for trips to the mall, cinema, or the beach. For months, I had been looking for something to replace my Tesco bag as it’s looking completely depreciated – what with the amount of stuff I put in it most of the time. The gods of environment-friendly bags must have heard my silent prayer because just the other day when I was at SM Megamall, I saw this orange reusable bag which had the word SPARK emblazoned across the front and it’s being sold for only P35!  And just when I thought it was all there was to it, I saw 3 other colors with words BREATHE, RENEW, and FLOW and I knew then – I have to have all four!

Later on I would find out that these are the SM Eco Bags made of recyclable material and can be durable enough to last up to two weeks of use. As for the size, it’s fairly large enough to hold my junk. I haven’t actually used to it to go grocery shopping but I have used it to carry some of my books and caboodles to work.  Like this morning, I used my SPARK and RENEW bags to carry my Grand Fiesta race kit which I picked up from ROX and my copy of Stieg Larsson’s The Girl Who Played With Fire and some organic chips (as healthy substitute for Lays and Cheetos!) and a bottle of Bragg ACV with honey which I picked up from Healthy Options today as well. And let me tell you, these Eco Bags can carry a load!

SPARK and RENEW with SM Eco Bags

The beauty of bringing your own recyclable bag to the supermarket is that you cut down on plastic bags. Now it may not be possible to eliminate plastics totally from our purchases because let’s face it, most of the products available everywhere are still packed and sold contained in plastics. But at least you lessen the use of plastic bags. That’s good enough a start. Not all of us have the means and resources to take drastic measures in saving the environment but we can start right at home. And if there’s some way that we can do this without losing sight of our unique fashion sense (and without paying incredible amount for it), then what’s keeping us girls from getting involved?

SPARK(LE) with me.

I say, let’s BREATHE, SPARK, RENEW and FLOW starting NOW!

Woman, Start Your Best Life TODAY!

Today’s modern woman works hard to achieve her dreams. And for female professionals, wives, mothers, and daughters, living one’s best possible life involves not just reaching personal milestones, but being in the best state of mind and body to enjoy their achievements to the fullest —the parallel pursuit of a healthy lifestyle and personal fitness is just the right ticket to personal fulfillment, confidence and happiness.

I'm no Jillian Michaels but my body has certainly changed heaps since I embraced health and fitness in the middle of 2009. If I did it, you can too!

As celebrated fitness buffs like Jillian Michaels (resident trainer of the US series “The Biggest Loser”) will testify, proper nutrition and regular exercise not only shed pounds and burn calories, they also help combat stress, as well as reduce the risk of diabetes, heart disease, stroke, and different types of cancer.

And just as they come in all shapes and sizes, women now have different workout regimens to choose from, and fitness icons like Jillian Michaels to serve as role models for total fitness. Says Michaels, “for any female body type, my recommended fitness approach involves maximizing every aspect of your workout in order to get the best results. This includes both your various exercises, as well as the different equipment you use. It’s important to pay close attention to your range and efficiency of motion, the variety of your workouts, as well as the ergonomics and comfort you get from your equipment.”

Taking off from Jillian’s words of wisdom, here are some sure-fire ideas to help you ladies get on the fast-track to fitness:

  • Run around the block (then later, the marathon). Running is the most accessible yet also one of the most calorie-blasting workouts. All you need is a good pair of shoes and a supportive sports bra and you’re good to go. Getting into a regular running routine also boosts the body’s immunity to colds and other viruses, and gives the heart a good workout like no other, leading to better health and greater endurance.
  • Relax, and let go. For the ladies who prefer meditation to go along with their exercise, yoga offers a unique workout of mind, body and spirit. Learning various yoga poses improves the body’s flexibility thus preventing several causes of back pain such as sitting and driving too long. By concentrating intently on your body, yoga calms the mind and soothes stress.
  • Play to your strengths. Paying attention to the muscles around the torso and pelvis by doing sit-ups and push-ups helps improve balance and stability. Core exercises are useful in most sports and other physical activities as they stretch and tone the muscles to avoid injuries. On the other hand, strength training, which involves the lifting of weights such as dumbbells, barbells and resistance bands, helps to strengthen not only the muscles, but bones and tissue as well. Highly effective for raising metabolism and burning fat muscles, strength training exercises not only builds lean muscles but confidence as well, making it a perfect workout to show off those toned arms in sleeveless tees and stylish dresses.

Women and Wellness

Leading multi-sports equipments retailer in the Philippines, Chris Sports offers high quality, fun and easy-to-use equipment and products at competitive prices that caters not just to athletes but all sports enthusiasts and fitness buffs.

Chris Sports exclusively offers world-class equipment from NordicTrack such as the NordicTrack Slimming Suit that helps shed the extra pounds and remove body toxins through heat retention, the NordicTrack 2lb. Thumblock Wrist Weights gives women easy-to-use and comfortable weights that fits in your wrist like a glove and the multi-purpose NordicTrack Adjustable Toning Tube that easily tones shoulders, back, arms and thighs.

“Good equipment can spell the difference between an effective and safe workout and preventable accidents and injuries. Chris Sports brings the latest and cutting-edge workout technologies in its equipment and products within the reach of every Filipino. We believe that getting fit allows every woman to perform at her best, whether it’s at work, at home or just to look and feel good,” Gilbert Tang, Managing Director for Chris Sports Philippines shared.

Renowned cutting-edge sports brand, Lifegear, also exclusively distributed by Chris Sports in the Philippines, features a specially fabricated anti-static Lifegear Yoga Mat with unique natural bacteria resistance. On the other hand, Lifegear’s Resistance Band helps women build up and tone their upper and lower body for an all-over workout while Lifegear’s Sauna Suit, women’s staple favorite aids weight-loss by inducing the wearer to sweat profusely.

Chris Sports has been offering these items and other equipment at great prices. With more than 29 outlets nationwide including Glorietta 3, Festival Mall, SM North Edsa and The Annex, Ayala Cebu, the newly opened SM Tarlac branch plus the new location at SM Megamall B, second level, there is sure to be a Chris Sports store near you.


Of Trains and Highways


Prince Charming: Looking for me, milady?


Hanging out with a bunch of girl (and gay) friends usually mean talking about ourselves. Men. Relationships. Work. Relationships. Family stuff.Relationships. Non-family stuff. Relationships. Clearly, there’s a pattern here. It’s up there spelled with a capital R.

What is it with this thing called relationship that makes us hyper-micro-analyse it? Is it because relationships are interesting to talk or gossip about? Could be. Is it because we feel the need to share what exactly we want in relationships, ours specifically? Kind of. Or is it because we are smack in the middle of unsatisfactory relationships? Getting close now. Apart from these things, the reason why we can’t help but micro-analyse is because we see a lot of relationships with untapped potential. And we ask ourselves “but why not?”

And really, why the hell not? I am not an authority when it comes to these things but I believe that most relationships fall by the wayside before they can even reach their potential because of lack of passion. Passion, not only in the sense of hungry kisses and tearing off clothes in the back of a car… but passion to be with someone you really care about. And who reciprocates your care with the same ardour.

Growing up, it was never inculcated in my mind that marriage should be a high-priority item on my to-do list. Perhaps it was because even back then I was already way too liberal-minded (or liberated, however which way you prefer to call it) for my own good, that my mom never encouraged marriage conversations. If at all, she tried to steer me as far away from that direction as possible. Not that I ever needed reminding that pursuing my individuality and sense of self is more important than, you know, reciting Hallmark-inspired vows, waiting on my husband and having babies every year. But yes, it remains on my to-do list – just not at the top of the heap.

Once before I found myself standing on a platform, waiting for the train that would take me to a destination I thought was the right one for me. I hopped on the train and for months, there was a flurry of planning, well-wishers, church-hunting and I just got caught in the excitement. Despite my doubts, I couldn’t bring myself to press the stop button and next thing I know, I’m hurtling down the highway to hell. I was 22 years old.

Thankfully, somewhere along the line, I was woken up from my abstraction and made an effort to push the red button and get off on another platform. Though not exactly the platform I intended to be in (suddenly single with a job that can hardly be called a career), but at least I was no longer on that highway which was never of my choosing in the first place. I called off the wedding and never looked back.

I have learned a lot of lessons from that experience but the one thing that really stood out was the importance of waiting for my own train and getting on it in my own stream. Before, in my naiveté, I was thinking “I shouldn’t be waiting this long because the train I wanted might not pass by this route, so I might as well hop on the first available train…” But when I carefully weighed the options and saw that the price I’m going to have to pay for in the future would cost me my life (not life per se, but you know, vivacity and the many years of learning as I pole-vault through challenges), I decided I’m better off standing on a platform nurturing the hope that one day my train will come.

I take pride in being a great risk-taker in this case. Conversely though, I see fewer and fewer of my kind nowadays. People come on the platform and jump on the first available train. And it is especially painful to watch them make that kind of compromise because they appear to have everything going for them. They can afford to wait for that great romance, but instead they choose to get off the platform and climb on to a train that will take them to the opposite direction. Maybe that’s a pretty smart thing to do, settling into a safe, stable, benign, pragmatic relationship. But nonetheless, it hurts to see that happen.

People are falling in love in a level-headed way and perhaps that’s the modern-day spin to Darwin’s theory of survival. I guess, on some level, it wouldn’t hurt to look at racial, cultural, religious, social and economic divides. After all, you cannot just walk blindly into something that can potentially change the course of your life forever. Also, I suppose there is some merit in being more practical and business-like about love these days.

The only downside I see – and I feel extremely sad about it – to this new-age love is the dwindling of great love into practicalities and the little prosaic things that make life quixotic.

Men’s Health: Read Her Dirty Mind ‘THE SINGLE WOMAN’


Men's Health Philippines July 2009 issue


***Featured in MH July 2009 issue

Name: Pamela Cruz* (not her real name)

Occupation: Public Relations Executive

Status: (Recently) Single

Last Hookup: 4 days ago

Number of Active Partners: 3

Looking for: “Intimacy without the Intricacy”

Wednesday, 10:00AM


I had just ended a relationship and spent most part of the morning doing routine workouts in the gym. I didn’t want to be one of those women who camp out in the kitchen after a break-up only to re-emerge a couple of weeks after 20lbs heavier and not much to look at.[1] This morning, I focused on my ass and my stomach all the while thinking of that skin-tight black tube dress I picked up from Zara which I thought I’d wear for the anniversary that would never come. I knew I looked stunning the minute I walked out of the building because men would actually stop on their tracks to look. No, to ogle. And I’m getting a perverse sense of pleasure out of it.



I was just about to shut down my laptop and call it a day, when my text message alert went off. Hey, what are you up to tonight? Wanna hang? It was Jake, an old flame who I’d see every once in a while for a quick fix. The whole day at work I haven’t been able to shake off my raging hormones. The moratorium on fixed sex is what I consider to be the biggest setback of a suddenly discontinued relationship. I don’t miss my Ex at all. But I definitely do the sex. I’m feeling rather ambivalent. The call of the loins is becoming more strident but I don’t think Jake is the answer. Dinner with girlfriends and then I’m calling it a night. Got a big client meeting tomorrow I can’t miss. Maybe next time. Hope he got the hint. As my fuck buddy[2], I am indifferent to Jake but I keep him around for emergency cases. And judging by the way my skin crawled a little after reading his text message, this is clearly not one of those.



Obviously, I didn’t go home early like I told Jake I would. So I fibbed a little, so what? After dinner, my posse and I decided to “celebrate” my freedom over a few rounds of margaritas. They have never liked my Ex for me and are now acting all smug hitting me with their versions of “I told you so” from all angles. Somehow I agree with them. The signs of impending doom were everywhere when Clarence and I first started dating, but I paid no attention to any of it. I thought he had it in him – the spark, the grit, the intelligence and the desirability to keep me hooked and my flighty feet firmly planted on the ground. Well, too bad, he didn’t. I excused myself from the table and the relentless chastisement of friends to freshen up in the Ladies. That’s when he caught my eye. Him with the chiselled countenance and dark brooding eyes that seem capable of boring giant holes through the stretch fabric of my black dress.



I’ve heard it often said that once commitment flies out of the window, you can have a lot of fun. And that’s exactly what I’ve been thinking to myself while I hold Mystery Man’s gaze – with an air of mock defiance and a hint of provocation just to see how far he can go. The air is now thick with sexual tension you can slice through it with a knife. What do I do if he comes over?Anticipation is causing ripples of excitement to run up and down my spine and the length of my thighs which now feels as if the Amazon’s running through it.[3] Did he just wink at me? Oh the game is on, buddy boy. We paid for the bill and one by one, my girlfriends started to push back their cushioned chairs and get off to leave. I told them I didn’t feel like going home just yet and would stay for one more drink and ruminate about my failed relationship. I didn’t fool them for one second though. They witnessed the brazen flirting and figured that since I’m supposed to be “heartbroken”, they didn’t want to get in the way. Bless their indulgent hearts. And just as I thought he would, Mystery Man sauntered over to where I was sitting and with the enigmatic grace of a skilled predator, sat next to me, deliberately letting his leg graze mine in the most intimate fashion and hold the skin-on-skin contact long enough to give me a warm flush from the neck down. So I’ve been watching you since the minute you and your friends walked in. Predictable, but it doesn’t matter. He will do.



We didn’t make it to his bed. The minute he opened the door, he had me up against the wall, his sinewy thighs lodged between my legs, his right hand deftly working the zipper on the side of my dress while his left hand kneads one plump breast. The second our clothes dropped to the floor, our sweat-soaked bodies followed. A tangle of limbs and arms at first, but soon we were both undulating to the rhythm of brutish sex. We did it three more times, first on the floor, the kitchen counter and on the couch, where finally he collapsed out of sheer exhaustion. I waited for the sound of his even breathing and then I slowly tiptoed to where my clothes were carelessly discarded. One night stands are not normally my nature but I know that it’s in my best interest to ease out of a possible sticky one-off situation with anonymity and finesse.[4]And that’s how random guy came to be known henceforth simply as MysteryMan.

Thursday, 2:00AM


I finally reached home. I’m exhausted and sore and reeking of sex. I hurriedly pealed my clothes off and stepped into the shower. I noticed a couple of bite marks on my shoulders, thighs and round flesh of my left breast. Funny, I didn’t feel his teeth clamping down hard on my bruised body parts. I must have been too busy minding my orgasms. I heard my text message alert go off. I’m sorry, I was wrong. Can we talk? It was him, my Ex. The guy who, just yesterday, pompously declared he doesn’t see us progressing beyond a perfunctory liaison and that I deserve someone else and not him. Now unless I find a nicer way of saying I’m sorry, too, but I just had the best sex of my life and I don’t think you’d want to listen to me go on and on about it during our talk, I will keep my thumb off of the reply button.[5]

[1] In her book It’s a Breakup NOT a Breakdown, author Lisa Steadman says Post-Breakup Slump aka Woe is Me, is natural and women do tend to feel a lot of strong emotions during this period. But it has to be dealt with in a healthy way. Retail therapy, trip to the salon, the gym or the spa, night-out with friends are among the more popular and highly-recommended ways of stumping the slump.

[2] Fuck buddy – Term used for sexual partners that regularly engage in sexual activities with each other, but do not share the usual emotional attachment of a standard boyfriend/girlfriend. Often used to describe two people who use each other solely for sexual gratification and nothing else. Usually this is a sexual relationship that still allows for each partner to seek sexual and emotional relationships with other people (hence, no attachments) but can rely on each other for a quickie or a booty call.

[3] French writer-philosopher Voltaire once said “It’s not enough to conquer, one must learn to seduce.” In the timeless art of seduction, timing is important – so is establishing a connection with a woman. One must first become a fixture of the woman’s mind, and only after she has had sufficient time to dwell on the impending moment will she become ready for anything physical.

[4] One Night Stands can lead to a lot of awkward situations that usually take place the morning after. One of the cool ways to avoid such is to NOT overstay your welcome. Men generally find women who are in control of themselves after a casual encounter and do not tarry about in the house waiting to be engaged in deep conversations or breakfast more mysterious and interesting.

[5] Break-ups often provoke hormonal crisis, which can lead most women to become vulnerable to advances. Women on the rebound usually go for sex with no strings attached. But it’s not that simple because women on the rebound are out to prove their desirability – or be certain that they made the right decision to get out of the relationship. suggests that you work on some strategies: press some of her psychological buttons (compliments) and stroke some of her physical ones to reap the rewards of a woman hungry for a fresh partner and some ego-stroking.

On Being Fit and Healthy.

Bend it like Vicky.

So I’ve been asked several times by people what it is exactly that I do to keep in shape. There’s running, of course, which I try to do as often as possible for a minimum of 5k for each run. There was a time when I logged 10k everyday and I was able to keep at it for about a week. But given that it’s not my main vocation and I do need to put food on my table, clothes on my back, and fancy shoes on my feet, work always come first.

There’s hiphop which I try to do every Thursday when I’m not traveling or at work. I like my workout with a lot of body movements and loud music which explains why dancing holds a lot of appeal for me even when the only time I’m even remotely graceful on the floor is when the routine involves grinding, booty-shaking, and chest pump. Anything more complicated or technical than that, I might as well be the girl born with two left feet.

And then there’s  free weights. I was not a fan of fitness clubs before. I dreaded the smörgåsbord of exercise machine, most of which I didn’t know how to operate. And back when I used to carry a little bit more weight on my petite frame, I would get completely self-conscious around gym members who look better and fitter. But when my body began to improve little by little, I must admit, I would sometimes be a little shameless in showing off. No, not full monty of course, but maybe just a tight tank top or a sports bra top and shorts or capris for workout which often get a lot of appreciative looks from men and uhrrrm, very scary dagger looks from some women. Though it may be deemed as little bit too much in the self-promotion area, but my rationale has always been that I worked hard to achieve my ideal body shape and form and if I can inspire even just one person to do the same, then I’m happy. Whether it’s for health reasons or just plain and simple affectation, it doesn’t matter, so long as I get to motivate people to do something about their fitness and looks. After all, who wants to be obese in the first place or for the rest of their lives for that matter?

Workin' it!

So yes, lately I have also been spending some time in this fitness club I frequent – mostly to do free weights workout and spinning or RPM. My friend who’s a complete health and fitness freak got me into it and I must say that he knew exactly what he was preaching about because I have seen significant improvements in my body and most especially, my overall health and fitness. I am more agile and flexible now. My endurance has also improved a lot and it may have been brought about by my strengthened core.

Last time I bumped into one of my favorite friends Dennis at FF, he made me his guinea pig . In his spare time, Dennis is studying to be a full-fledged fitness instructor/personal trainer. He showed me a lot of workout routines targeted to develop and tone specific areas of my body. He even showed me how to use some of the exercise equipment there, much to my delight because I have always felt that it’s such a waste that I don’t get to maximise my monthly club membership. But that’s going to change from here on in.

So going back to the question on what I exactly it is that I do to keep fit. Well, here are some of them…

This one here is called the Russian Twist and it's mainly for core strengthening. This is also how you get that nice line on the sides of your midsection. And the 5kg weight plate I'm holding as I twist to the left and right also helps give my arms a very nice definition.

This is the free weights alternative to the equipment-aided squat exercises. The bar weighs around 20kg and as you can see, it's not that tough to carry. After the initial fumbling execution, I can now squat 30kg; 12 reps; 3 sets.

This is called the Preacher's Curl and this is good for the biceps. I usually do 3 sets of this with 12 reps for each set.

And because I burn tons of calories and expend a lot of energy after each run and/or workout, I make sure that I eat healthy and on time. I used to consume a lot of junk food before (potato chips, soda, chocolate, name it!) but with the desire to look fit, healthy and extremely good comes great restraint. These days, when couch potato-ing at home and feeling the niggling urge to open a bag of chips or take a bite off that block of chocolate, I grab an apple or a pear instead and drink a glass of water.

Aside from that, I also take vitamins and health supplements to make up for lost nutrients, especially when I miss an important meal of the day or had been delinquent with my food intake.  I’m sure you have your own preferred supplement and brand whose health benefits you’ve already proven over the years. Below are some of the stuff I take every morning, usually after my workout, in order to keep health-IER. Now, if you haven’t been bitten by the fitness bug yet, look for me and I would gladly clamp my sharp teeth on your neck or shoulder – whichever is yummier – and maybe we can run and hit the gym together! What did I tell you? I’m all about inspiring people to living nicotine/alcohol/excessive fat and sugar-FREE lifestyle. Lezgow!

Health supplements for a healthier me!

For more proof, please refer to the photo below. That is the result of a semi-serious training spanning about six months. I have made a few more trips to the fitness club since then and therefore I look more toned now but I still say it’s a work in progress. I’m closer to my fitness goal now but there’s still tons of work to be done. And I don’t mean the surgical kind of work, just so we’re clear. I wanna see just how far I can still push the fitness envelope…

Still a work in progress...


Show NOT Tell. But Better If You Show AND Tell.

I am a great believer in quantifiable evidence of love. Though people tend to go all abstract about it, I say it can be measured. And it should be measured. How can I possibly believe in the existence of a life-affirming emotion if I cannot feel it? If there is nothing tangible to back up the veracity of those three little words? To say I Love You without meaning it is a kind of cruelty that people who casually perpetrate this lip service do NOT even consider. Saying it is never enough. Showing it, on the other hand, fulfills a promise of loyalty and commitment to the person whom these words are spoken to. And if you ask me, this is how I measure LOVE, especially in the context of a relationship. I’m sure you have your own list and I sure would like a peek. Chances are, we’ll disagree on some points but there is such a thing as COMPROMISE and we can always do that. Or you can always just agree with me. I don’t see anything wrong with that either.
1. Kiss me. Passionately, ya?
2. Make love with me.
3. Cook for me.
4. Engage in thought-provoking conversations with me.
5. Return my call.
6. Write (and SEND) a letter to me.
7. Lock eyes with me especially when in a crowded room, teeming with beautiful ladies.
8. Care for me when I’m sick.
9. Enquire about how I’m doing/feeling.
10. Pat me on the back.
11. Smile at me.
12. Listen to me.
13. Hug me.
14. Recommend a book to me.
15. Give/Loan a book to me.
16. Communicate with me regularly.
17. Kill (or release into the wild) spiders or lady bugs for me.
18. Acknowledge my birthday.
19. Watch a movie with me.
20. Invite me to your house.
21. Introduce me to your friends and family.
22. Show an interest in my writing.
23. Be nice to me.
24. Forgive me when I say something inconsiderate.
25. Forgive me when I pick a fight. And I am known to do this for no reason sometimes.
26. Forgive me when I use you as the inspiration for a piece of fiction, or my blog.
27. Understand when I take a short break from you. I am known to do that every now and then.
28. Understand when I am hormonal and my emotions are running amuck all over the place.
29. Don’t be sexist, though, as to accuse me of being hormonal.
30. Be patient with me. I am a work in progress.
31. Tell me the truth. Yes, even when you know it’s going to hurt me like a kick in the crotch.
32. Take me seriously. Unless it’s been made clear at the onset that this is NO more than adult’s play.
33. Don’t take me for granted.
34. Read a book I recommend to you. I may not be a Literary genius but I’ve read some pretty interesting books and I want you to consider being interested in them as well.
35. If certain that it will affect me, consider my feelings when making a decision.
36. Write me an email and respond to mine.
37. Remember my middle name.
38. Hold me when I cry. I do that a lot when watching sad movies. Or even funny ones.
39. Make a home with me.
40. Make attempts to connect other than perfunctory text messaging.
41. Help me to reach orgasm every time we make love. Or you know, the multiple kind.
42. Tell me about your work.
43. Let me in on your desires and secret fears.
44. Tell me what you’re thinking because I can tell when your mind is somewhere else and not with me.
45. Let me help you.
46. Be vulnerable with me. I want a strong man but not necessarily an invincible superhero.
47. Eat the food I cook for you and tell me if my cooking sucks. I will try to improve.
48. Travel the world with me.
49. Laugh with me.
50. Take a nap together.
51. Say goodbye properly before you leave my presence or my life – for good.
52. Photograph me.
53. Introduce me to your children.
54. Hold my hand, at all times. And especially when I’m scared and sad.
55. Go with me to the doctor/hospital/airport.
56. Rescue me from a predicament I’ve gotten tangled up in, but try not to judge me. Please.
57. Ask about my day and pay attention when I tell you about it.
58. If you have to go, stay until I fall asleep.
59. Be careful about my feelings.
60. Create something (artistic) with me. Could be a science project or a baby.
61. Call when you can’t make it.
62. Help me to pack.
63. Help me to move.
64. Respect my privacy.
65. Respect my need for solitude, every once in a while.
66. Dance with me. Slow dance with me.
67. Sing to me.
68. Stop everything because you’ve just got to have your way with me!
69. Seduce me.
70. Feed me.
71. Put me in my place when I go overboard.
72. Miss me when I’m gone.
73. Ignore the phone when we’re together.
74. Make time for me. Try, even when it seems impossible sometimes.
75. Pick me up if I’m in an accident.
76. Believe in feminism.

And lastly…

77. Tell me, as gently as you can, when you don’t love me anymore.

One Night Only.

Have you ever been on a one-night stand?

I know of some people, myself obviously not included, who have and they all agree that it’s a strange sort of memory to look back on. Usually, ONS ensues after a break-up (for some of them much earlier than that) where one party who was once thoughtful, sacrificing, concerned, and blindly in love all throughout the relationship snaps (always for a particular reason or excuse)and things like commitment and fidelity and trust became abstract concepts that needed some serious “rethinking” rather than the way of life they had always thought it to be.

You see, once commitment flies out of the window you can have a lot of fun. Hypothetically, if I had at any point in my past relationships ever actively cheated on my partner – well, I’m sorry, but spending time feeling guilty for, uhrrrm, other pleasures is something I probably won’t be caught dead doing. So, one night stands. A friend of mine recommended Murakami’s Sputnik Sweetheart and he said it got him to thinking a lot about one night stands. (Mental note to self: Pick up a copy and see what it’s all about. You liked The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, right? This one should be right up there in the same alley.) Okay, so where were we? Right, ONS. You see, I’m not very censorious about sex. I believe that so long as you don’t hurt whoever you are with, whatever you do is your own business and ought to be enjoyed the way it’s designed to be enjoyed. Assuming, of course, that you are in a relationship and your partner is not exactly a fan of pleasure derived non-exclusively, then you should not be indulging in this particular game.

Following that train of thought, if one-offs are generally acceptable to you, here are some things I learned from friends which we agreed should be passed around – because the game is always more fun when both players know the rules, don’t you agree?

1. Learn to pick up the vibe if somebody’s sending you some. Insecurity and/or the whole ‘who me?’ pretend-disbelief can keep you alone in bed for some time.

2. Remember you are where you are with him solely for the sex. Check-in your emotional baggage at the door.

3. This may very well be the ONLY impression you will ever have to make, so WORK IT, baby.

4. Play safe. Suit up. Put on the latex. You know what I’m talking about, right?

5. Keep it friendly and light, right up to the goodbye the morning after. And no, you have no right to expect breakfast.

6. Virgins must come out with it beforehand. Some men (yes, there are still a few of them out there) are terrified of deflowering women they don’t exactly see themselves bringing home to mum.

7. If there is any indication that the morning after will only bring regret, keep your knickers on. Simply put, get into it for the sex, not because you’re drunk, high, or lonely.

8. KISS – Keep it simple, silly! Relax, it’s just sex. But be well-mannered enough to switch your phone to silent mode.

9. Lastly, bring out your trump card! Feel free to experiment. Your temporary partner has no idea of your usual style and is most likely devoid of expectations. So there’s your chance to wow him. And it may not be all about wowing him. Who knows what you’ll discover about yourself and the sex diva lurking underneath?

Having said all that, I guess I should also mention that some of the guy friends I had a discussion on this with agree that there is nothing quite as sexy as the woman (that’s you!) you have made a move on grabbing the bull by the horns, so to speak, and taking the initiative to cover the rest of the distance.

Image taken from here.

Travel: GLAMPING, Anyone?


The happy campers!


Back in April 2008 when Anawangin Island were not yet as popular as it is today, my friends and I decided to go on a two-night camping trip in the island. It took us nearly 4 hours and three different modes of public transportation, including a short boat ride, to get us to Anawangin. There was no electricity in the whole island and no indigenous huts or cottages either, so we had to pitch tents for our sleeping arrangements.

There was only one toilet enclosed in a roughly assembled box enclosure made of nipa leaves and tree branches and all of us campers had to form a queue to be able to use it. The only water source for rinsing after a day of swimming in the azure waters or trekking in the low mountain or for washing dishes and preparing food to cook over wood fire is the water pump. That was the closest I have ever come to roughing it and I totally enjoyed every single moment of it because I rarely get a chance to commune with Mother Nature in that way, given that my life is pretty much entrenched deep in the urban jungle.


By the swamp.


And then I learned recently that there is another type of roughing it, and this one is done in style. They call it glamor camping or glamping. Said to have been first introduced in Europe in 2007, this luxury camping has long since became popular in the United States and other famous glamping destinations in other countries. In glamping, the last thing that you will have to experience is to live like a villager or an aborigine. In fact, due to the mounting popularity of this glamorous camping expeditions, some outdoors companies and retailers have decided to capitalize on the glampers’ deep pockets by offering products such as air mattresses with built-in alarm clocks or MP3 players and night lights or tents outfitted with integrated lighting systems and auto-roll windows.  There is even internet connection and satellite TV for those who do not want to feel disconnected from the world!

Flying tent!

Although some hardcore roughriders scoff at the idea of ultra-comfortable camping by maintaining that such ostentatious amenities violate the true outdoors spirit, retailers are quick to respond by saying that it is the new reality of the market. They say that these days, people have expectations of a certain level of comfort or they won’t go outdoors. While a clean tent was enough for some, others expect entertainment, comfort and wide array of amenities.

Here are some highly-recommended places to go glamping:

1.        Aman-i-Khas, India. Aman-i-Khás is a luxury tented wilderness camp near Ranthambhore National Park, India. Its name means peace (“aman” in Sanskrit) and special (“khas” in Hindi).  Set in an incredible natural setting, remote and secluded, Aman-i-Khas is a true haven of tranquility, offering its guests exceptional comfort in a pristine wilderness setting. The camp is open between October and April, which is the best time to visit the park.

There are luxurious and comfortable 13 tents, of which10 are for guests. The remaining 3 are a tent each for lounging, spa treatments and dining, which serves Indian and Western cuisine made from ingredients grown in the resort’s organic gardens. Laundry, doctor on call, foreign exchange, and travel desk are some of the other services that are provided by the resor  Aman-i-Khás offers morning and afternoon safaris in open top jeeps within Ranthambhore as well as camel treks and nature walks in the surrounding villages and countryside.

2.    Nduara Liliondo in Tanzania. Nduara Liliondo in Tanzania, a Safari Camp with Mongolian links, an entirely different brand of accommodation and way to enjoy Africa’s wildlife.

It’s an unforgettable sight, the twice-annual ebb and flow of animals—zebras, blue wildebeests and gazelles among them—across the vast, primeval-seemingSerengeti Plain, in northern Tanzania and neighboring Kenya. Visitors head to East Africa from all over to witness this, one of the largest such migrations in the world.

3.  Galapagos Island. Galápagos Island – an archipelago of volcanic islands distributed around the equator in the Pacific Ocean – is a UNESCO World Heritage site. With wildlife as its most notable feature, the island ranks among the most coveted places in the world to see nature at its best.  Galápagos Safari Camp is a new hotel breed,  boasting of a 55-hectare farm in the highlands of Santa Cruz Island bordering the national park, 30 minutes from the sea. The farm is rich in birdlife and offers many local species of trees. The camp has 8 luxury safari tents perched on a hill, providing comfort and privacy in the wilderness. All tents have a balcony with views of the park and the ocean — they are spacious, attractively decorated, and each has a private bathroom, with hot shower and toilet. Personally, this will be my choice for my honeymoon trip if I were to get married. If being the operative word.

4.  Longitude 131°, Ayers Rock, Australia. The name Longitude 131° refers to the precise east-west location of Uluru, the rust-colored monolith formerly known as Ayers Rock. Longitude 131° is by far the most luxurious, and offers the best view — each of the tent-like guest cabins looks through full-length windows across six miles of desert at the thousand-foot-high Uluru.

Guest rooms are built on steel stilts, elevated a foot or so above the fragile brush, and guests are asked to keep to the paths, to minimize environmental impact. Inside the décor is a bit British Africa, of all things, each room themed after a different Australian pioneer, featuring a bit of memorabilia, perhaps a letter or some photos from the settlers’ time. Luxury carries the day, with vast plush beds and futuristic bathrooms, featuring views even from the shower and the bathroom mirror.

5.  Paws Up, Montana, USA. The Resort at Paws Up in Montana offers the ultimate glamping experience. Paws Up, provides equal part glamor and equal part camping for a truly unique travel experience. At Paws Up, you will see luxurious tents equipped with king-sized feather bed, fine linens, spacious deck, electricity, private bath with heated floor and plush towels, gourmet cuisine and wine, housekeeping, and butler service.

Meanwhile here in the Philippines, the Department of Tourism (DoT) is looking at developing the Cordillera Region in the Northern Luzon highlands to attract glampers who are constantly on the look out  for luxurious adventures. The Cordillera, as you know, hosts the world famous Banaue Rice Terraces and the hanging graves in Sagada. Although glamping has yet to take-off in this country, we can expect it to gain ground in the near future when glamping tourism is given more focus and promoted aggressively to local and foreign tourists.

***Photos by Clyde Manzano.

Disclaimer: I just want to emphasize that above photos were taken back in 2008 when I was 10 to 15lbs heavier. I swear, my waistline is now only 23 inches! Before meals, of course. hahaha.