One Night Only.

Have you ever been on a one-night stand?

I know of some people, myself obviously not included, who have and they all agree that it’s a strange sort of memory to look back on. Usually, ONS ensues after a break-up (for some of them much earlier than that) where one party who was once thoughtful, sacrificing, concerned, and blindly in love all throughout the relationship snaps (always for a particular reason or excuse)and things like commitment and fidelity and trust became abstract concepts that needed some serious “rethinking” rather than the way of life they had always thought it to be.

You see, once commitment flies out of the window you can have a lot of fun. Hypothetically, if I had at any point in my past relationships ever actively cheated on my partner – well, I’m sorry, but spending time feeling guilty for, uhrrrm, other pleasures is something I probably won’t be caught dead doing. So, one night stands. A friend of mine recommended Murakami’s Sputnik Sweetheart and he said it got him to thinking a lot about one night stands. (Mental note to self: Pick up a copy and see what it’s all about. You liked The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, right? This one should be right up there in the same alley.) Okay, so where were we? Right, ONS. You see, I’m not very censorious about sex. I believe that so long as you don’t hurt whoever you are with, whatever you do is your own business and ought to be enjoyed the way it’s designed to be enjoyed. Assuming, of course, that you are in a relationship and your partner is not exactly a fan of pleasure derived non-exclusively, then you should not be indulging in this particular game.

Following that train of thought, if one-offs are generally acceptable to you, here are some things I learned from friends which we agreed should be passed around – because the game is always more fun when both players know the rules, don’t you agree?

1. Learn to pick up the vibe if somebody’s sending you some. Insecurity and/or the whole ‘who me?’ pretend-disbelief can keep you alone in bed for some time.

2. Remember you are where you are with him solely for the sex. Check-in your emotional baggage at the door.

3. This may very well be the ONLY impression you will ever have to make, so WORK IT, baby.

4. Play safe. Suit up. Put on the latex. You know what I’m talking about, right?

5. Keep it friendly and light, right up to the goodbye the morning after. And no, you have no right to expect breakfast.

6. Virgins must come out with it beforehand. Some men (yes, there are still a few of them out there) are terrified of deflowering women they don’t exactly see themselves bringing home to mum.

7. If there is any indication that the morning after will only bring regret, keep your knickers on. Simply put, get into it for the sex, not because you’re drunk, high, or lonely.

8. KISS – Keep it simple, silly! Relax, it’s just sex. But be well-mannered enough to switch your phone to silent mode.

9. Lastly, bring out your trump card! Feel free to experiment. Your temporary partner has no idea of your usual style and is most likely devoid of expectations. So there’s your chance to wow him. And it may not be all about wowing him. Who knows what you’ll discover about yourself and the sex diva lurking underneath?

Having said all that, I guess I should also mention that some of the guy friends I had a discussion on this with agree that there is nothing quite as sexy as the woman (that’s you!) you have made a move on grabbing the bull by the horns, so to speak, and taking the initiative to cover the rest of the distance.

Image taken from here.


Author: mrsvickyaltaie

Mother to ZO. UltraRunner. Writer. Casual blogger. Yogi wannabe. Passionate about travel, nature, and fashion. Occasionally neurotic. Possibly, undiagnosed bipolar.

5 thoughts on “One Night Only.”

  1. Yup, I am well aware of that given that majority of my closest friends are gay (and I love them for that!) I remember one friend telling me that with gays, all it takes is 3 seconds of eye contact to determine how the night would end. We should totally be friends!

  2. Hi again, Vicky! That’s my bro, Kien. I recommended that he read your Show NOT Tell post. Glad he enjoyed reading your posts din.

    About this post, I’ve had a couple of ONS where the guys expected me to call them or act like their gf after the act. So, yeah. It’s important that the other party knows the rules, too. Hehehe.

    And about that gay men vibes, I once went with my bro and his gay friends to a gay bar. I was grinning all night ’cause I saw how aggressive these gay men can be when it’s just them. *LOL*

    1. hey, sis, not all gay men are aggressive! haha. i’m, you know, more on the passive side of things. haha. or shall we say, i prefer being “the willing victim.” ^_^

      and yes, i enjoy reading vicky’s blog, especially those ’bout health and fitness. i find ’em both inspiring and degrading coz i’m juz 23 and the longest time i cud spend running on a treadmill is 2 minutes. haha.

  3. You siblings are so cute! I wish I had a brother who’s openly gay. As for being a ‘willing victim’, don’t we all love to play that part sometimes? If you ask me, there’s a perverse sense of satisfaction to be had at playing submissive sometimes.:) Try outdoor running, it’s more fun and enjoyable than treadmill running. That’s how I started and also how I met some very interesting characters who are now my friends.:)

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