Show NOT Tell. But Better If You Show AND Tell.


I am a great believer in quantifiable evidence of love. Though people tend to go all abstract about it, I say it can be measured. And it should be measured. How can I possibly believe in the existence of a life-affirming emotion if I cannot feel it? If there is nothing tangible to back up the veracity of those three little words? To say I Love You without meaning it is a kind of cruelty that people who casually perpetrate this lip service do NOT even consider. Saying it is never enough. Showing it, on the other hand, fulfills a promise of loyalty and commitment to the person whom these words are spoken to. And if you ask me, this is how I measure LOVE, especially in the context of a relationship. I’m sure you have your own list and I sure would like a peek. Chances are, we’ll disagree on some points but there is such a thing as COMPROMISE and we can always do that. Or you can always just agree with me. I don’t see anything wrong with that either.
1. Kiss me. Passionately, ya?
2. Make love with me.
3. Cook for me.
4. Engage in thought-provoking conversations with me.
5. Return my call.
6. Write (and SEND) a letter to me.
7. Lock eyes with me especially when in a crowded room, teeming with beautiful ladies.
8. Care for me when I’m sick.
9. Enquire about how I’m doing/feeling.
10. Pat me on the back.
11. Smile at me.
12. Listen to me.
13. Hug me.
14. Recommend a book to me.
15. Give/Loan a book to me.
16. Communicate with me regularly.
17. Kill (or release into the wild) spiders or lady bugs for me.
18. Acknowledge my birthday.
19. Watch a movie with me.
20. Invite me to your house.
21. Introduce me to your friends and family.
22. Show an interest in my writing.
23. Be nice to me.
24. Forgive me when I say something inconsiderate.
25. Forgive me when I pick a fight. And I am known to do this for no reason sometimes.
26. Forgive me when I use you as the inspiration for a piece of fiction, or my blog.
27. Understand when I take a short break from you. I am known to do that every now and then.
28. Understand when I am hormonal and my emotions are running amuck all over the place.
29. Don’t be sexist, though, as to accuse me of being hormonal.
30. Be patient with me. I am a work in progress.
31. Tell me the truth. Yes, even when you know it’s going to hurt me like a kick in the crotch.
32. Take me seriously. Unless it’s been made clear at the onset that this is NO more than adult’s play.
33. Don’t take me for granted.
34. Read a book I recommend to you. I may not be a Literary genius but I’ve read some pretty interesting books and I want you to consider being interested in them as well.
35. If certain that it will affect me, consider my feelings when making a decision.
36. Write me an email and respond to mine.
37. Remember my middle name.
38. Hold me when I cry. I do that a lot when watching sad movies. Or even funny ones.
39. Make a home with me.
40. Make attempts to connect other than perfunctory text messaging.
41. Help me to reach orgasm every time we make love. Or you know, the multiple kind.
42. Tell me about your work.
43. Let me in on your desires and secret fears.
44. Tell me what you’re thinking because I can tell when your mind is somewhere else and not with me.
45. Let me help you.
46. Be vulnerable with me. I want a strong man but not necessarily an invincible superhero.
47. Eat the food I cook for you and tell me if my cooking sucks. I will try to improve.
48. Travel the world with me.
49. Laugh with me.
50. Take a nap together.
51. Say goodbye properly before you leave my presence or my life – for good.
52. Photograph me.
53. Introduce me to your children.
54. Hold my hand, at all times. And especially when I’m scared and sad.
55. Go with me to the doctor/hospital/airport.
56. Rescue me from a predicament I’ve gotten tangled up in, but try not to judge me. Please.
57. Ask about my day and pay attention when I tell you about it.
58. If you have to go, stay until I fall asleep.
59. Be careful about my feelings.
60. Create something (artistic) with me. Could be a science project or a baby.
61. Call when you can’t make it.
62. Help me to pack.
63. Help me to move.
64. Respect my privacy.
65. Respect my need for solitude, every once in a while.
66. Dance with me. Slow dance with me.
67. Sing to me.
68. Stop everything because you’ve just got to have your way with me!
69. Seduce me.
70. Feed me.
71. Put me in my place when I go overboard.
72. Miss me when I’m gone.
73. Ignore the phone when we’re together.
74. Make time for me. Try, even when it seems impossible sometimes.
75. Pick me up if I’m in an accident.
76. Believe in feminism.

And lastly…

77. Tell me, as gently as you can, when you don’t love me anymore.
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Author: mrsvickyaltaie

Mother to ZO. UltraRunner. Writer. Casual blogger. Yogi wannabe. Passionate about travel, nature, and fashion. Occasionally neurotic. Possibly, undiagnosed bipolar.

10 thoughts on “Show NOT Tell. But Better If You Show AND Tell.”

  1. I super love this post. I’m glad there’s someone out there who also believes that love should be measured… that there should be a reason behind loving someone.

    I have a pending blog post about this, not a list, but how I strongly believe that love has reasons. You can’t love someone just because you felt it. There’s a reason behind that feeling, or something caused you to fall in love, I believe. This belief strengthened after my last relationship (ended a few weeks ago) and I haven’t posted it yet ’cause of fear that I might hurt someone. This post literally made me want to push through publishing it. Will link to your post. 🙂

    1. Awww…so sorry to hear about the recent demise of your relationship. But I can see you’re holding up just fine, so…*insert smiley here*. Seriously, it’s true what you’ve just said. We don’t fall in love blindly. But more than just knowing and acknowledging the reasons why we fell in love in the first place, we ought to commit ourselves to making it work. (Note to boyfriend: Read this! hahaha) I will add you to my blog roll ha.:)

  2. Hi Kien! About 80% of my friends are gay so that’s one more reason for you to love me.:) Thank you for taking an interest in my blog. Happy reading! And oh, thank you for finding me hot.:D

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