Tell me this. Don’t you sometimes feel that your life is but a cliché? A hazy blur of forgotten promises and dreams yet to be realized, or worse, unlived?
Every now and then I would feel my heart go on a full stop and I would be gulping in air like a drowning (wo)man – desperately soaking in everything, every moment in its entirety – as though to let slip even a dollop meant death. Such moments give me a feeling of incredible awe. Often, I have no idea what was so awe-inspiring to begin with but I did not want to question.
All I wanted was to live.
Lately, these moments have become exceedingly rare and often leave me with a deep sense of dissatisfaction. Lately, I have been waking up wanting to express what I feel, to shout for joy, writhe in pain and to share it with someone. And this is when I start sinking down the abyss again. My life, though beautiful, has been a chaotic struggle from one moment to another – drowning and resurfacing, sinking and soaring.
But despite that, I still believe with all my heart that these brief moments – and YOU – are what make life worth living for. Mine, especially.
Sunrise, fingers entwined.
Fingers entwined, sunrise.
What makes life beautiful?
The sunrise or the fingers?
I am once again in awe.
Ah, the simple pleasure of waking up to streaks of morning light…and none of his dark, ugly and disturbing shadows.