In My Cocoon There Is Refuge.

And so, while the despicably ugly face of malicious lies can give you nightmares even during the day, there is still an obscene sense of satisfaction to be had in thinking you know nearly everything there is to know about, well, anything. Or someone. Same thing applies to imaginary ghosts to be chased away. That when after having chased them – the ghastly, the ugly, the truth we refuse to be confronted with – distress magically eclipses.

But what about the perverse sense of complacency at not making an effort at all to (a) know ‘everything’ the society dictates to be of grave importance, and (b) to chase away the ghouls in your head?

Life has so many twists and turns it all seems so futile sometimes. Have you ever felt the gnawing desire to just remain enveloped in your cocoon for as long as there is refuge to be sought there?

I have.

Sometimes I find myself longing for the secure and uncomplicated. I long to be as far away from eyes that seek, perceive, pry, question…and especially away from eyes that are brimming with painful nostalgia. I make attempts to push it all away by seeking solitude and repose…but even that gets lonely somewhere, sometime, somehow.

And then in those rare moments of vulnerability, I realize what a complete mess I have made of myself and those who cared about me…once and some, a few times. Don’t ask me why. Maybe they are just as fascinated with self-imposed hurt as I am. It’s a horrible sinking feeling. Chasing illusion has got me destroying reality in the process. It’s a price I once chose to pay but I live to regret simply because it turned out to be absolutely NOT worth it.


Pretty deep, huh? I know.  I got quite a bit carried away back there. It seems Britney Spears’ Femme Fatale album is making me contemplative and prolific! Thank you Eric for giving me a cd copy of the album! Now I know what you mean about  getting hooked — I can’t stop playing it! So now let’s talk shallow and fun. After all, it’s Friday and no, I’m not about to go Rebecca Black on you. Although I have a let’s catch-up dinner with a dear friend of mine later, it’s nothing of the irresponsible frivolity kind. I think I have forgotten how that works in this time and age. The drums and bass are best left to the kids, that’s what I think.  These days, I’m all about reading a good book, going a little overboard with my workout, meeting friends occasionally — if I’m not buried up to my elbows with work, that is.

Hey, have I mentioned in my previous post that we’re coming out with a gag show on youtube? Another brainchild of Emperor Eric, (Did you click on the link? He’s the guy doing the intro in one of our Beijing videos) our brilliantly creative friend who was also the one who wrote the song Paglaya. The music video of which is already being played on Pinoy MYX. I haven’t seen the video on tv myself as I often come to work early and leave quite late and on those rare occasions that I do watch tv, I’m only tuned in to BBC, CNN, BTV, FOX, or TLC.

So anyway, we shot the first two episodes last week and it was fun! Buddy, being a seasoned PETA actor himself, was pretty intimidating to act with! ‘To act with’ naman daw talaga! Akala mo naman artista ako kung magsalita, ROTLF! We did 3 scenes for the Summer episode but we lacked two more, so we  taped again last night. And this time with our barkada‘s resident hubadera and it’s not me. I only come in (very) distant second to Cris Bato, as we fondly call him. One only has to look at his perfectly sculpted body to know where the moniker bato came from.  Yes, he’s rock-hard, pretty much everywhere but very soft where it matters – the heart. You don’t believe me? Check out this camera photo taken by JayEm while Bato and I were being directed by Eric and producer extraordinaire Aldrin in one of the Summer episodes.


'Summer' episode

Here are some more outtakes of last night’s taping. The show, by the way, will debut on youtube on Monday. We have a few more episodes lined up and though in some of those that we’ve already taped, the bloopers were a lot goofier than the actual show! So I suggest you cancel all our plans on Monday and wait for the pilot to air on youtube. And after watching it, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but in front of your laptop or tablet, for the iPad users out there, yoohoo!) on Mondays! Now, if we fail to make you laugh, I’m pretty sure, there would be at least five out there who will be in stitches – so kebs naman, di ba?

Anyway, more outtakes as promised. *wink*


Golden brown, hard, and irresistible...I am Cris Bato.:)

Aldrin and Bato acting out one of the Summer episode scenes.

Bani, behind the camera.




Shameless plug: Have picked up your March copy of TOTAL FITNESS yet? Well, what are you waiting for? Head down to your favorite newsstand today! I have some fitness-related articles in there you might wanna check out. Here’s one of them:

POWER YOGA. (Excerpts) To the untrained eye, the synchronizing of the yoga poses with one’s breathing patterns may seem soft and free-flowing, similar to a trance-like dance. But for the Power Yogi, pushing and contorting of every limb while maintaining a strong sense of inner peace and concentration is in itself, already a vigorous exercise. Which is why, warm-ups are done before a Power Yoga session in order to properly relax and condition the muscle for the successsion of rigorous poses to be executed.

Given the physical and mental demands of power yoga, it is truly amazing how some people are drawn to the practice and remain loyal to it. Here’s why:

  • It improves one’s ability to focus.
  • It’s a great way to release tension and anxiety.
  • It helps a person maintain proper posture.
  • It tones your body well.
  • It’s a good way to remove bodily toxins through sweat.
  • It serves as a great training for athletes.
  • It helps improve a person’s performance in certain sports
  • It bolsters stamina, strength, and flexibility

One comment

  1. offshore bank accounts · April 10, 2011

    ..In addition my muscle definition has never looked better and I am burning 650 calories per hour keeping me aerobically fit and lean I have a heart rate monitor with my own personal VO2 Max input so I know this calories burn to be extremeley accurate . This has nothing to do with Yoga but rather with the teachers paradigm or training. ..Many yoga teachers classes are filled with crystals chakras chanting incense and a variety of New Age hocus pocus that some women like but most men try to avoid whenever possible.

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