Note: As published in this month’s issue of Total Fitness magazine. Grab a copy today!
When it comes to long distance relationships (LDR), I might be in a position to make some valid contributions on how to make it work. Because, you see, I am currently in one and it has been over three years in the running. Now I’m pretty sure you’ve heard every possible words of discouragement from people saying no relationship ever survives physical separation. Wrong.
It’s far from easy, yes, but making a long distance relationship work is not impossible either. While many have failed, there are some success stories out there that you can draw inspiration from. And when I asked some of my friends who were once LDR couples before getting engaged or married, some key ingredients to relationship success stand out and I thought I’d share them with you:
- COMMUNICATE. Lucky for us, modern technology has made (and continues to do so) communication easy and accessible, no matter the distance separating the couple. Today, we even have a wide range of options for face-to-face contact, from Skype to Facetime. Schedule a regular webcam or chat session with your partner to talk about anything – from serious relationship matters down to the seemingly mundane topics. By keeping your communication lines open, you continue to work on emotional and mental closeness even when apart.
- HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. The mother of all relationship clichés it may be, but you cannot ignore the fact that being real and true about your feelings and thoughts concerning the relationship and the many pitfalls you foresee is really the best way to go. Especially when you’re starting to feel disconnected because of the distance or the opportunities you might already be missing out on because of your commitment to someone who’s thousands of miles away. Conversely, you can also make your chat sessions your avenue to profess your deep love and commitment for each other. Saying ‘I Love You’ must always be on the menu, as cheesy as it sounds. But ONLY when it’s real and felt.
- SEXY TIME ALL THE TIME. It’s not true that only couples living in the same city or zip code can enjoy real intimacy. While penetrative sex may be a challenge, there are other alternatives available at your fingertips. However, you might want to skip sending sexy photos sent via MMS or BBM unless you’re prepared to see them splashed all over the internet due an unfortunate turn of events.
- BRIDGE THE DISTANCE. Make a planned or surprise visit to see your partner. Though it may hurt your wallet a little (depending on which continent the other party is located), but being together again after months of physical separation can be oh-so-worth it. Whether you spend it locked up in the bedroom doing every intimate thing imaginable to each other or do other fun couple things together outdoors is entirely up to you. Oh, by the way, you might want to rethink the surprise visit…just in case.
- THOU SHALT NOT BE TEMPTED. Temptation in the form of an Ex who’s throwing himself/herself into your orbit once again or a hunk/babe of a stranger luring you into infidelity, can be among the hardest challenges to overcome in a long distance relationship. And believe me, it can get even tougher when you are in one of those moments when you actually yearn for physical intimacy. But if your commitment to your partner, your relationship, and your future together is as deep as it should be, you would know how to say no – one too many times, if necessary.